My mom made it on TV. (2 segments)
The things that I’ve read that have helped others were to try and get back into a schedule as much as you can. Try to get up at a normal time and go to bed at your usual time. No matter how hard it is, keep her awake during the day! Go to the store, play outside, have music on, dance.... whatever it takes. Allow her two naps, but remember you may have to wake her and suffer her crankiness a bit.
Getting out in the sunlight helps adjustment. Both you and your baby need to “Get Outside” in daylight as much as possible. This is supposed to help reset your internal clock.
Limit her daytime naps to two hours. Depriving her of sleep altogether during the day can't force her to adjust faster -- it will just make everybody unhappier all day long.
Make sure her room stays dark at night and very light/bright during the day. She needs to learn that daytime is for being awake, and nighttime is for sleeping. (Do this only until she is on your schedule)
If your daughter is awake in the middle of the night, you can stay up with her in her room, with the lights very low, and played very quietly until she fell asleep again a few hours later. One person post that if she awakes at night, NEVER take her out of her crib. You can stay in the room and comfort her but make sure that she stays in the crib with the lights OFF or dim. Don’t make your little one think that it’s playtime in the middle of the night!
*Get less sleep and eat less than normal the few days before leaving. On the plane select juice from the drinks offered. And don't think about what time it is back home. Change the time on your watch upon takeoff.
*Water. If you drink lots of cold water, you will breeze you through the jet lag.
*Bring eyeshades and earplugs. They're indispensable!
*Go to bed extra early about 2 nights before a trip. The day of my trip, I'll go to bed around 7 p.m. (using a sleep aid usually)
If you’re jet lagged, you probably feel some (or all) of the following:
Bowel irregularity; and
Loss of appetite
One of the secrets of seasoned international travelers is to book flights that arrive at night. That way you can go to sleep as soon as you get to your hotel. This helps you get adjusted to local time – you go to bed late at night once you arrive, and then wake up the next morning and fall in step with the local time zone.
*During your flight, get up and walk around every few hours. Not only will this little bit of exercise help alleviate jet lag, it will also ward off blood clots (a very dangerous, although rare, side effect of long distance air travel).
*Stay well hydrated during airline travel. In addition to helping your body fend off jet lag, good hydration will help your body resist the nasty germs that are inherent in the re-circulated air on planes.
*Some international travelers swear by melatonin. Available over-the-counter, melatonin is a hormone your body naturally produces at night. Supposedly, it tricks your body into resetting its sleep/wake cycle. If you take melatonin in the morning it will delay your bedtime; if you take it at night, melatonin encourages your body to sleep. (It’s probably wise to consult your doctor before taking any dietary supplement.) Furthermore, researchers have found that taking supplements of vitamin B-12 and vitamin C can help you fend off jet lag.
*Use the complimentary earplugs and blindfold.
*Invest in an inflatable pillow.
Melatonin, which had been available as a food supplement in health food stores, has been shown to be of help in reducing jet lag. Its effect is opposite that of exposure to light, so it helps to reset our biological clock by inducing “chemical darkness”. It has also been of benefit to many others with sleep disorders.
The recommended dosage, according to one expert, is as follows:
• For eastward flight, take 3 mg per day in the late afternoon prior to departure, and then for four more days at your destination, at the local bedtime.
• For westward flight, only take at local bedtime for four nights after arrival at your destination.
It seemed to work for me, but that is hardly scientific. Government authorities also seemed a bit skeptical about melatonin, not so much because of its use in sleep disorders, but perhaps because it was being promoted for everything else, from removing cellulite to improving one’s sex life. Correct dosages and potential side effects have not been adequately studied. So until that time, it may be prudent to search for other ways of dealing with this problem. Considering that it is no longer legally available in Canada, I shall not dwell on it.
These are suggestions from therapists and parents of RAD kids
1. Wear infant in a chest carrier, all day if possible, facing IN.
2. Mom should initially be the only person who is meeting the baby's needs. Baby needs to build a bond with one person first, then she can branch out to others.
3. Bathe together, to promote skin to skin contact. Baby & Mom can wear the same lotion so baby associates scent with mom.
4. If you use cologne (or if you don't, use your shampoo), place a tiny bit on her arm so she has your smell with her at all times.
5. Laminate loving family pictures of you together and put around her crib and other places.
6. Outline her body, as well as your own on huge sheets of newsprint. Color them (great activity). Tape the "portraits" to her ceiling.
7. When feeding her something she particularly likes, tell her you are a good mommy/daddy. Telling her with words that you are a good mommy is important -- otherwise, how would she know?!
8. Play with dolls to act out how parents always return after child goes to day care, babysitter, bed, etc.
9. Draw cartoon panels of the day's routine, so that your child can see that Mom and Child always come back to the same home together. Anxiety and stress can interfere with auditory processing, so it is important to use something visual that can be held in the hand.
10. Give your child a laminated picture of the family to carry with her all the time.
11. Limit choices. At first parents should make all decisions, including foods, toys and clothes. This helps the child feel safe. Then as the child becomes accustomed to the new family, limited choices can be given, e.g. a choice between 2 foods.
12. Dress alike. Wear the same colors, type of outfit, accessories, hairstyle, etc. and point out how you look alike.
13. Claim your child. Tell her she belongs to you. Give her a big hug and say "MINE!" Make up songs about your family, e.g.:I am your MomYou're my sweet girlJust like a pearlso rare and preciousYou are mineand I am yours'Cause together we're a family.
Encourage Eye Contact
"Look in my eyes. Don't look away" - Mr. Soil from Bug's Life
1. Bottle feed no matter what the age. Encourage eye contact by gently touching her cheek. DO NOT let her hold the bottle. Nourishment has to come from parent(s); be sure to hold her when feeding.
2. If she turns away (avoiding eye contact) try placing a large mirror accross from you. That way, when she turns away, she will see herself in your embrace.
3. Continue to hold her in your gaze. It may take a long time for her to glance at you. When she finally does, be ready with a warm, loving, approving smile. This sounds little, but is really big and pays big rewards in our experience.
4. Encourage eye contact by gently tapping the bridge of her nose and yours as a hand-signal to look at you.
5. Stroke her cheek.
6. Put her hands on your cheeks. Children's eyes often go where their hands are.
7. Play Peek-a boo. This develops the concept of object permanence (that even if you can't see something, it's still there). For kids who are still anxious about Mommy leaving, repeat "Where's the Baby? Here's the Baby! Where's Mommy? Here's Mommy! Mommy goes to work, Mommy comes home!" to emphasize the message that Mommy always comes back.
8. Have baby pull a sticker off your nose - and put it back.
9. Wear a stick-on dot or earring as a "beauty mark."
10. Stare into each other's eyes. If your child can keep eye contact for 20 seconds, feed her a chocolate kiss or candy heart. Increase the amount of time.
11. MUSICAL NOSE - Sing a song and let your child pinch your nose so you sound very silly. You stop singing if she breaks eye contact.
12. MUSICAL SWING - put child in baby swing. Face her as you push. Encourage eye contact by singing a song, and stopping if she looks away.
13. Fill your cheeks with air. Have child "pop" them.
14. Take turns feeding each other. This works great with raisins, cheerios, and popcorn.
15. Eskimo kisses - rub noses and stare into each others eyes.
16. Play in front of a mirror. Make faces, paint Mommy's face, trace each other's faces on the mirror with washable marker, finger paint with shaving cream. Let your child be your puppet and make her dance. Make dolls dance. Any kind of game that gets your child to relax and meet your eyes in the mirror, will likely get her relaxed enough to meet your eyes directly.
17. Instead of using an actual mirror, take turns being each other's mirror. Sit face to face, and have your child imitate every facial movement you make, and vice versa. Then try it with your whole body, mirroring each other's movements.
18. For an older child, try lipreading with each other. While you're not really getting eye contact, you're at least looking at each other's faces.
Games which Encourage Attachment
1. Play hide and seek (also develops object permanence).
2. Play catch! Roll a ball back and forth (teaches reciprocity). Throwing or batting a balloon back and forth may be easier than throwing a ball for little ones.
3. Hold baby in your arms and dance with her. A very synchronous activity.
4. Swim together.
5. Paint each others faces with paint, power, or just pretend.
6. Put lotion on each other.
7. A Memory game but with a more personal touch: Have your child look you over very carefully. Then leave the room and return after you've changed something about yourself. See if she can figure out what is different. It could be something really obvious for younger kids, like taking off a sweater, but for older kids you could get more challenging, like buttoning one more button on the sweater.
8. Guess the Goodies: Put several small treats in a bag or cup. child closes their eyes. You pop a treat in their mouth and they try to guess what it is.
9. Tunnels: Parents kneel on floor forming a tunnel. Child crawls through the tunnel as fast as they can before the tunnel collapses. first few times let child get completely through, then have it gently collapse onto child.
10. Pillow ride: have child sit on big floor pillow and you drag them around the room. You only move when given eye contact.
11. M&M hockey: Use bendy straws and blow candy across table to other persons goal. When you score a goal, the opponent feeds you the candy.
12. Marshmallow fight: Each person uses a pillow as a shield. Sit on the floor and throw marshmallows at each other. Gets wild and crazy and is a lot of fun. Can do the same with crumpled paper.
13. Crawling into arms: Child starts in corner of room. Cannot start until adult says go. Start by saying "lo", "mo" etc. instead of "go" to help child learn to attend better. Then child crawls across room as fast as they can to you. You are standing on other side of room and make a large circle with arms. Child needs to stand up in the circle. gradually reduce the size of the circle and gets a big reward of kisses hugs and/or a treat.
14. Jumping across pillows to arms: set up pillow islands in a pattern across floor. Child starts at one end, you are at the other. Child starts when you direct them to as noted above. Child jumps across the islands and into your arms. Finding goodies. Hide candies on yourself and child needs to find them.
15. Donut Dare: You hold a donut on your finger through the hole and the child sees how many bites they can take before it falls off.
16. Lifesavers on Licorice String: Put each end of shoestring licorice in yours and childs mouth (helps to tie a knot so that it stays in mouth better). Have a gummy lifesaver on the string. By standing up and maneuvering without hands, feed the lifesavers to each other.
Mouth - to improve speech
1. Lots of bubble blowing.
2. Drinking with a straw, especially thick milkshakes.
3. Whistle blowing (I know, it can become irritating to mom real fast).
4. Party blowers -- the ones that un-curl and then curl back up again.
5. Provide different kinds of textures to move around -- both with his tongue and with his hands: baby peas, rice, couscous, puddings, jello. Paint a plate with chocolate pudding and then eating it off the plate and hands is fun -- although you might want to try a colored plate and vanilla pudding if your child is under two.
6. Wake up his taste buds -- sour candies like Sweet Tarts, chili, pepper, mustard, paprika, pickles -- anything with vinegar. Learning the sour taste is especially important.
7. Tapping very lightly above the upper lip above the gum line--but NOT on the midline.
8. Making "mouth music."
9. Tear tissue in small pieces or strips and blow it across the table top.
One mom uses Creamy Style Vaseline, and makes lotion time an attachment activity time with these games:
1. Pass the lotion. Get lots of lotion on your hand and let your daughter try to get all of it off, and then pass it back and forth.
2. Slippy hands. After lotioning pretend to hold on tight to each others' hands and then "whoops" slip off backwards with lots of exageration and laughter.
3. Hand Stacking. Place your hand on the bottom, then one of your daughters, then yours, then your daughters. Slip your bottom hand out and put it on top. Just keep on going to "build the stack". Lotion painting. Paint pictures on eack other and then rub them in and start over.
Lack of eye contact
Preference for strangers over mom
Turning away from affection
Cries; miserable all the time;
Resists comforting or nurturance
Resists or dislikes being held
Poor eye contact or avoids eye contact
Flat, lifeless affect (too quiet)
Rarely cries (overly good baby)
Angry or rageful when cries
Looks sad or empty-eyed
Wants to hold the bottle as soon as possible
Stiffens or becomes rigid when held
Prefers being held with back toward mother
Does not hold on when held
When held chest to chest, faces away
Does not return or reciprocate hugs or check in with mom
Generally unresponsive to parent
Cries or rages when held beyond his wishes
Overly independent play or makes no demands
Little or reduced verbal responsiveness
Does not return smiles
Shows very little imitative behavior
Physically restless when sleeping
Does not react to pain (high pain tolerance)
The Format: The size should be 4x6 inches (300 pixels min.) This way we can the photos printed up nicely if we decide to do so. Ideally would love to have some kind of photo within of the waiting family, or pets, or family already created through adoption. Add anything else you want. You can put poems, sayings, clipart…it’s limitless to the things you can do. As far as the “Asian” concept, make it anything you want but don’t get hung up on it. You could use Asian colors, ladybugs, etc. Also, it can be as personalized as you want. You can make a sort of “generic” one (I use this in a good way) that can be given to all or you can personalize by using their actual names or child-to-be’s name. Either would GREAT!
DON”T DO DIGITAL YET but want to PLAY WITH US??? For those wanting to participate but aren’t too much into the digital world, you could always make a regular 4x6 scrapbook page then scan it in. Just make sure that the scrapbook page is relatively flat and scan at 300 or higher.
The Swappers: China Adoptive Parents and Waiting Parents, Adoptive Bloggers
Post a Comment if you are interested in doing this. (Include your email/blog so that I can get in touch with you.
(I just made this up at work so you could get a idea. Mine is very generic...I will do better on the real thing! I scaled it down too much that is why it looks bad. But you get the idea. The sky is the limit!!!)
Deadline to sign up will be Wednesday, November 29th, 2006.
Can anyone help me? I want to change the background color (I know how to do this) but I want the padding around the posted photos to be white with a black outline. When I change the background color, the padding changes to that color as well! I've tried so many things and still can't get it to work. Any ideas?
By MICHAEL M. PHILLIPS
If he's lucky, the bills will indeed be worth $700 when he arrives in port and tries to spend them. If he isn't, they'll be worth closer to $600. The difference? The good bills are new ones that bear Treasury Secretary John W. Snow's signature. The bad ones are signed by Treasury Secretary Robert E. Rubin.
"Whoever goes first gets the new money," Jean Yves complained recently after returning home to Madagascar at the end of his cruise. Those at the back of the line get an instant pay cut, because in many of the countries the ship visits, old U.S. bills just aren't worth as much as new ones.
Americans are accustomed to the idea that the dollar -- the world's No. 1 reserve currency -- is good anywhere. After all, it's a point of principle that the U.S. never invalidates its notes. The government may add watermarks, insert security threads or enlarge Ben Franklin's face on the $100 dollar bill, but old bills are still legal tender.
Overseas, however, that guarantee carries less weight. In many countries, from Russia to Singapore, the dollar's value depends not just on global economic forces that move international currency markets, but also on the age, condition and denomination of the bills themselves. Some money changers and banks worry that big U.S. notes are counterfeit. Some can't be bothered to deal with small bills. Some don't want to take the risk that they won't be able to pass old or damaged bills onto the next person. And some just don't like the looks of them.” To read more…click here.