Not to toot my own horn but I think I will make pretty good parent so any kid would be lucky to have me as a parent. Sometimes though there is the perception that by adopting from China I am saving a child. I will be taking Giorgia out of an orphanage or foster care and I do think that I will be giving her many opportunities that she would not have in China. But she will also be losing a lot by leaving China. We will be taking her away from her country and culture and bringing her to a place were most of the population will not look like her. Sometime in her life she will feel racism and discrimination and at that point I am sure she will not feel lucky. We are the lucky ones that China is allowing us to adopt one of her daughters and for that I will be eternally grateful.
I think this is a generational thing as in the past it was acceptable to refer to people of Asian descent as Oriental. This term is no longer acceptable just as it is no longer acceptable to refer to African-Americans as colored. Grace will be Asian-American of Chinese descent. People are Asian, rugs and furniture are oriental.
When people refer to Giorgia as my China doll I know it is meant with the best intentions, that she will be a beautiful child. What people don't realize is that there are sexual overtones in the term. The term is used in countless movies in referring to sexualized Asian women kept hidden away for some westerner's pleasure. Most Asians abhor the term as well as it objectifies them. So it is not really a term I want used in reference to my daughter since she will be my daughter and not a "doll" I went to China to purchase.
Sometimes Asians are referred to as the model minority. The stereotype is that Asians are intelligent, hardworking and successful. A few people have bought into this stereotype and commented that "she will be smart" or "good at math". I don't expect Giorgia to naturally excel in any one area just because of her race. I hope Giorgia is smart but what if she struggles in school? I would hate for her teachers to expect her to be smart or not give her the support she needs just because she is Chinese and is supposed to be good in certain subjects.
Positive Adoption Language
Using positive adoption language supports adoption as just another way to build a family. Adoption is not better or worse than having a child through birth, it is just a different path that I chose to build my family. I will not use the term "real parents" when referring to her "biological parents". It is also not acceptable to call a biological child a real son or daughter when comparing them to adopted children. I will be Giorgia's mom/parent, and I assure you I am real. Giorgia will have a biological mother and father in China, she will know and hopefully be proud of this from an early age. But I will never refer to Giorgia as my adopted daughter, she will just be my daughter Giorgia. I see no need to make the distinction. One comment I have heard in the past is that I will love her just as "my own". Well of course I will, she will be my own child. The preferred term for "own child" is "birth child" and I think that is what is meant when people use the term. It may seem to some that using proper terminology is trivial but positive adoption language is really about the child seeing their adoption in a positive light and not as something to be embarrassed about or as second best to having biological children.